we got married during a pandemic

yeah yeah, i am four… yes FOUR months into being married and im just writing a blog post about it. i share a lot with you guys & i figured this was something i wanted to share. i tell you all the good, bad and the ugly and well and this was all three.

its sort of funny to me how things played out really, i went from writing a blog post about getting engaged to how i couldnt wait to get married in 3 months, to how pissed off i was that my whole wedding was up in the air and now im telling you that i officially got married in may. but dont worry, we are having a big celebrate next May, well we hope so anyways.

so at the end of april, wisconsin was under the “safer at home”. we pretty much had to stay home and couldnt go anywhere unless it was essential. well, i had all my invites, details and RSVP cards, addressed envelopes and stamps all on the table and i started to pack the envelopes with all the cards i had and then i got an update on my phone that wisconsin was going to stay under the “safer at home” order until the end of may which only left a week before our wedding. i was literally was 5 invites in and sat there and thought: “omfffffffffffffffffffffg”.

we had no choice, we had to cancel our wedding.

yes, i figured this was going to happen but the fact of hearing it made it real. i didnt know what to do, i didnt. nick and i talked it over and over and we knew to keep everyone safe, we would have to reschedule the wedding. i then walked by myself over to the garbage can and threw away all of the invites and RSVP cards but guess what?? i didnt need them. okay i am making this sound really dramatic like it was over cast outside and i slowly walked into the kitchen, ponder life by looking out the window and threw away the invites lol.

next step was trying to contact our venue and from there we had to pick a new date which is may 22nd, 2021, this date has no meaning what so ever, we just picked a random one. once that date was changed then we and by we, i mean i, i contacted all the other vendors and hoped that may 22nd was available on their ends. im pretty sure it was a gift from whoever but all our vendors were able to switch our date to the new one and BOOM! same wedding just different date! this was such a relief! then it was time to find the most appropriate change the date cards and send them out. here are the ones we ended up getting.

now what? what do we do? do we wait? do we get married? how do we get married when the court house isnt open? should we wait for june 6th or should we get married sooner? do we have time to get married soon?

well, let me tell you. we knew we wanted to get married sooner than later. we just want to get it over with (okay i didnt mean it like that, we just really wanted to get married) and live together as a married couple. deep down, i always wanted to get married on may 10th because that was my grandparents wedding anniversary. more specifically, my grandma joyces wedding anniversary. she was my heart and soul. i miss her dearly and i knew, from a young age, i wanted may 10th as my wedding day and thats what i got! now, comes the question of soooooo how did you get married if everything is closed?

this is my grandma & grandpa on their wedding in 1958

we did a lot of googling haha, like a lot. so like i said, everything was closed. now this is for milwaukee county, i am not sure what other cities would have looked like but i would think must would look about the same.

i wont sit here and bore you with all the details but everything was over video and email. i had to call the court house, set up a time to zoom a country clerk and then we had to prove who we were. after we showed our IDs and birth certificates and put up our right hands and said whatever we did and just like that, we get our marriage licence. it was weird. and about 5 mins after we were grated to get married, she sent over our marriage licence in a PDF and there it was.we were able to get married in 7 days but had to get married within 30 days. we were worried we wouldnt be able to do this so quickly because at this point, it was two weeks before may 10th and we knew things at the state level can take time but things were in our favor!

so you have your marriage licence and now what? well, we had to get our rings made and has to start to “plan our big day”. when it came to the rings, that was easy! my wedding band i got where nick got my engagement ring and i was able to have it finished within a week and half… it pays to knew the right people 😉 i picked up my ring i think 4 days before the wedding. and yes, i wore it the whole car ride home, i was obsessed! i am still obsessed!! nick knew he wanted his ring to semi look like his dads and we knew just who to call. our family friend greg met with nick and nick explained what he wanted and boom! nick had a ring within a week. gregs work is amazing!

now for planning…how do you plan for a wedding during a pandemic and make sure that everyone is safe? we knew we had to have our wedding outside just to make sure there was enough space for people and we really didnt have a choice because everything was closed. we orginally were going to get married on the beach at south shore park butttttttt in true wisconsin fashion…our wedding day was in the 30s with rain and snow. wouldnt be wisconsin if it didnt snow or rain on an important day. so we had to move everything from the beach to the humbolt part band shelter. which wasnt a problem because still enough space and it was covered!

we made sure to keep our group to about 10 people and made sure it was our families or people we have been around this whole time. i had my maid of honor come, who signed the licence and then nicks best man came and signed it too. we had our parents and my now sister in law with my nephew and of course my sister (yes i have a sister, well no blood but pretty close!) and then our officiate! oh and cannot forget my main lady, arissa for taking the photos (and for making my crown!)

and then, we had a wedding!

ugh i was so cold! like thank god i had a jean jacket that my dear friend natalie made. and UM GUYS! she makes custom jackets for brides and grads and everyone else in between. the jacket literally saved my life, well saved my arms from falling off from being so cold. i would recommend her work 110%, it so well done!

tmym etsy shop

tmym ig page

we had everyone over for lunch and drinks… a lot of drinks! and here we are, 4months and still married 😉

talk soon!

xoxo kelsey

dear all brides to be, i feel it too.

i dont think i need to go into what is going on around us because we all know. unless youre literally living under a rock, please invite me over…that sounds a lot nicer than whats going on now.

i will say this, the air is weird, the times are weird. life is weird. its weird that i am still going into work (im not a fan about it) and nick stays home and works. its weird not being able to do things you were so used to doing, like going to dinner and happy hours. maybe this is a small lesson on you shouldnt take things for granted? probs. its weird coming home everyday, nick being home, glen being all excited and then i set my things down, fuck around for a good 20 mins and then go workout. after that, we walk because what else are we going to do? then we make a drink, i know im not alone here…i have drank A LOT during this time. i make dinner, shower, watch the news, make another drink and then turn on some mindless tv and dread the next day because i know damn well what i am going to be doing.

but then the thoughts and questions come up, sooooooooo what are we going to do about the wedding?

i will be brutally honest with you, i dont fucking know.

when i said “im getting married in 3 months”, i thought to myself “oh that is so close, yet so far away”. and now, i would do anything to wait another 3 months so i could have a better handle on whats going on.

i never thought it would come down to this. i never thought that the ONE thing that was suppose to be about me (sorry nick), is now effected. and i know im not the only one.

as far as it goes, we are still planning on getting married on our wedding date, 6/6/2020. i have talked to the venue and they said that all june events are going as planned unless the government says no, obvi. so here i am, sending out my invites and RSVPs with only two weeks for people to decide whether or not they want to risk it, whether or not they want to believe things will be okay within a month. so now i am pretty much making people choose, my wedding or their wellbeing.

but this is all a mind game because then i start to think that i shouldnt be so selfish. i shouldnt only be thinking about myself, theres people out there without jobs, dying, loosing loved ones, being on the front line and people who are also in the same boat as i in.

i think still think that i shouldnt feel sad, i shouldnt be THAT upset, i shouldnt worry so much about myself because look at the world, a lot worse things are happening than you not getting married.

but you know what? i do feel sad. i feel mad. i feel frustrated.

i mean yes, we are talking about an alternative date but thats not the point. the point is, i have worked my ass off for the last 10 months to plan this wedding and for everything to hopefully goes as planned. i worked hard on making sure i got what i wanted with the right people for the right price. i worked hard on making sure all my ducks were in a row, making sure everything was ordered and everything was paid for & ready to go.

i am upset because im a planner. i love to have a plan, i love to know what is going on and i love to be in control of what is going on or what will go on. and now i dont have that. i dont have any of that. all i have is a small hope that somehow we will be able to have our wedding the day we planned with as many of our friends and family as we can have.

i never thought that i would say it but im not even excited to get married anymore. all the worry and unknown has really taken all the fun out of what is suppose to be one of the best days of your life. but then that thought comes back into my head again, the “well a lot worse is going on around you…you can also postpone and have the dream wedding you always wanted”. well duh! but i want MY wedding on the MY wedding day.

I JUST WANT TO SCREAM.

i know im not alone in this. i have a couple of friends who are in the same boat as me and all i can say is that, thank god for them. i dont know how this would be if i was doing it alone.

i regret saying that i was sick of talking about wedding planning because now im sick of talking about what are we going to do, im sick of people asking about what is our plan is and telling me its okay, you can always have it another time.

my whole point of this is, its okay to feel sad, mad, frustrated, upset, pissed off, not excited, unhappy, selfish and bummed out. of course, people are going to say that this must be a hard time and they cant even image what youre going through.

i havent had a full on crying fit or anything. i did cry when i passed the air port last weekend, i saw a plane coming in. i could think about is how going to hawaii for our honeymoon is probably not going to happen like it was suppose to and you know what? i havent even full processed that. i am so fucking mad about possibly not getting married that i havent even put thought into not going on my honeymoon.

what i thought were going to be a busy three months havent been that. these three months have been filled with disappointment over and over again.

no bridal shower (if you want to buy me stuff though, im 100% okay with that lol)

no bachelorette party which means not seeing a friend that i havent seen in years.

not being able to send out my invites and rsvps when i shouldve and knowing who is able to come to the wedding, knowing theyre coming because itll be safe.

not being able to see another friend i havenet seen in forever because her shower and bach party couldnt happen.

no more excited feelings.

okay kelsey, come on…but a little more happy, a little more excited…have some optimism!!! funny you say all that because i tried. i would say that normally, im a pretty positive person and this, this right here has drained all of that from me.

i read an article last night that said that “everything is going to be okay”, “youll get your day, it might not be ON YOU DAY but itll come”. of course, i get that. but i have the complete right to feel what i am feeling.

wheater or not youre getting married in a simlar time frame as me or youve had to totally postpone your wedding or youre reading this just because know that, you are not alone. when it comes to feeling the way you are, know you have people around you that are going through what you are, your partner is feeling it too. dont think they dont have feelings too, ask them how theyre feeling. know that its okay to be mad and pissed the fuck off. its okay to not know what to do or how to feel. its okay to be selfish. like i said before, i feel like this isnt a time for me to be only thinking about me but guess what?? I AM. i am human and im being effected in a way i never have before.

know i am here, i am feeling what youre feeling. i want to get married, i want to have the best wedding with the best man ever but i feel like that is being taken away from me.

sure, in the end, i might “look back and laugh about this” but right now, im not laughing.

please let me know if you need me or have any questions.

my heart goes to the brides who have no ideas what the next day will bring.

cross those fingers girlfriend.

xoxo kelsey

and i get married in 3 months…

i laugh now when i think about what i thought i wanted when it came to getting married. i always said i wanted a poofy dress, i want a lot of guests and for it to be fancy!

ha. yeahhhhhh. none of that is true…sorry little me.

i also never thought that i would be planning a wedding in 7 months and i never thought it would go as quickly as it has. they say “oh itll go quick” yeah no kidding!! last week marked 3 more months until the big “i do” and i had a thought: “i feel like not a lot of people are getting married in a year or less of becoming engaged, so why not write a blog post on some tips and tricks for anyone who is getting marred?”

so here we are! a mini guide if you will, a little update on wedding planning 🙂

(i think i will do a full on post about more details of planning once i get married – i dont want to give away too much)

well, where do i start? we are now a little less than 3 months out and im telling people i am freaking out but im really not? what needs to get done now is just the little things. such as figuring out the rehearsal dinner time line, the wedding day timeline. and you best believe, i am going to make a complete guide for everyone because thats me!

like i kind of said before, i never thought i would be the one who was going to have to plan a wedding in less than a year but i dont think i would want it any other way. why? because i dont like to sit around and wait, i like things done sooner than later. i get that isnt always the case for everyone but it is for me.

but with such a small timeline – that meant and still means i cant just sit on a thought or a decision because im literally neck to neck with people who probs have been planning their weddings for over a year now.

i am trying to think of advise to give without giving too much detail for now but i feel like a lot of people dont tell you things and when they do, youre like oh…well, i wish i knew that sooner because i need to figure this out in the next two weeks otherwise its going to be rush, not work out or someone else is going to take it from me.

here are couple of things i have learned so far that i feel like i need to share:

  • google! literally google has been my best friend when it comes to all wedding things. from googling “milwaukees best wedding venues” to “what can i do at my wedding that isnt a photobooth?”. literally everything. dont be scared to do so.
  • ask for help! im bad at this – i dont really ask for help but sometimes you need to ask your already married friends, your mom or your soon to be mother in law for help because girl…you dont know it all.
  • THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX! for real!! if you think an idea is weird or different its more than likely the best idea ever because no one else you know of has done it before. i will say that, we arent having a cake, we arent having a religious ceremony and we arent having a photobooth. check out my FAVORS part down below 🙂
  • borrow stuff and make stuff! dont be scared to ask people if you can borrow things from them or even from their weddings. i will tell you right now that most of my basement is filled with second hand stuff from a friends wedding. why go and buy new when you can re-purpose something that someone else has? i have made a lot of my stuff such as my save the dates, invites and favors (all below). i also plan on making as much as i can.
  • YOU DONT HAVE TO BUY – RENT! yeah this sounds obvious but i rented a couple of things and yeah i may be out some money but again, i rather purpose something than buy new. this is the website i used to rental – relics rentals . its a great vintage rential shop in mke!
  • DO YOUR RESEARCH! if you dont do this, youre going to be spending a lot of money. all im going to say is, you can find quality people and services for reasonable prices. i say this because i had been looking for a photographer and some photographers are charging SO MUCH MONEY! i mean, an extra $500 for a second photographer, the “low end package” is $2000 and that doesnt include a lot so you pretty much need to buy the add-ons which then youre upwards in the $4000s. so if anything, please do your research because itll help you save $$$ in the long run. **if you need a list of people and services i used…please let me know!!**
  • GET A NOTEBOOK, JUST FOR PLANNING: i am really thinking about creating my own guide for brides to be, but that is all still in the works! anyways – i have a notebook with a folder in it to keep all of my signed contracts in. yes, i know thats old fashioned but i like to have everything right there in case it is needed. in my notebook i write all my plans, ideas and notes when i take to people on the phone about stuff or if im just planning by myself. its just nice to have everything is one place!
  • USE THE KNOT WEBSITE: this website has been more than helpful! this website helps you stay on track with guidelines and timelines. whats nice about the site is, youre able to build your wedding website which holds your registry, wedding details, engagement photos and so much more. whats also nice about the site is, youre able to keep all your contacts in there for your save the dates and invites. you can track your budget and it even carters to where you live when it comes suggests of services such as hair, venues and djs.

and you thought i was done…nope! i have included a couple of things that i thought were GENIUS! and i just had to share. below im showing you what i talked about above but also a couple of other things too!

DYI INVITES + RETURN ADDRESS :

if youre like me, you love shutterfly but you dont really like their prices, right? right. because we are the same. as i was looking into invites, shutterfly was adding up quick. meaning, JUST for the invites, we were looking at over $100! thats doesnt include rsvp or details cards or anything along those lines. i knew i was smarter than shutterfly. i thought to myself: “can i do these myself?” or “can i get them printed somewhere for cheap?”. well i dont know how or why but i headed over to etsy and realized that i can buy a template, edit it myself, print them off myself and BOOM! (now there are all different packages with a lot more you can print off and what not but i did it simple) all said and done, my invites, rsvps and detail cards were $202 with 3 day shipping and envelopes. if you ask me, thats a deal! another thing i did was get stamps for the return address. i went a little crazy and got two. one that is before getting married and one for after. its just so much easier than writing it out or making labels. plus, i like the detail it gives.

here is what i used to score cheap invites & other stuff:

HOW TO INVITE WHO YOU WANT:

this sounds obvi right? like of course im going to invite who i want because its my wedding. yes, youre right but i was running into the problem of: “okay i know jim bob jones doesnt have a gf right now, which means hes going to bring someone random which them means im spending all this money on a person i dont know!”. that literally was a problem i was worried about, have randos at my wedding and me having to pay for them. now i cannot take full credit on this, i stole this from my friend erin (shes getting married in april!) BUT i thought it was smart so thanks erin!

set up your rsvp cards to look like this:

the person youre sending this too has no option than what you give them. all you need to do is, fill in, by hand, how many people youre inviting. and then on back of the card, you will give the person or couple a number so when they send it back you know whos card you have. meaning only jim bob jones was invited because i only reserved one seat for him and on the back of his card was a 18. so i know that hes 18 because i have made that his number since there isnt a return address on the rsvps. sorry jim bob. also – arent these GORG!

FAVORS:

i wasnt going to share this one but i have been to a lot of wedding and the favors are either awesome and well thought out or theyre like wtffff is this. well, i wanted people to say: “this is totally nick and kelsey!”. and i think i did just that! although coming up with this idea wasnt the easiest, my suggestion is – think of something that you BOTH like. something that you you WANT to share with people. something that YOU, yourself would use. so drum roll please… our favors are…mini whiskey bottles! seagrams 7 baby! tacky? maybe. original? totally. but it was cheap. i feel like favors can get expensive, i mean everyone gets one and if theyre a $1 then that times how many people rsvp. i kept this simple and just bought labels and of course used a beyonce song. all and all, for 150 mini bottles…my total was $135 which isnt bad!

& dont mind this photo – it was a friday night and just a quick action shot!

wow – that was a long post!! ugh i really wanted to share more and give you ALL the details but like i said, its coming once the wedding it over.

i hope you enjoyed 🙂

xoxo kelsey

and im getting married!

i told myself that i wouldnt be THAT person who is obsessed about getting married. Buttttt i feel as if that is slowly changing. i mean, come on! 

IM GETTING MARRIED. And if we are really keeping track, i get married in like eight months. im not sweating, you are… although i was told that it’s doable, but that was also told  to me by a wedding planner. (no, we dont have a wedding planner, youre looking at her;) ).

But hey,  i love planning. literally its my dream to be a planner of some sort.

enough kelsey, let me hear how nick did it!!

Okay fine – here it is!

now you gotta be in the mindset of it being labor Day weekend and this point we were like two weeks away from heading to germany. we had talked about doing a little weekend trip either going to MN or chicago. if youre thinking “why Chicago?” well, chicago holds a little piece life for both nick and i. 

nick and i started dating april of 2012 and yes, we were still in high school. ugh I know, so cute lol. well being 18 both of had no idea what we wanted to do, all we knew was, i was staying here in milwaukee and nick was headed to columbia for school. we spent everyday during that summer together, like everyday. but soon came fall, which meant this newly, fresh and young love could only go on during the weekends. yeah, we texted, called and skyped but still…being 18 that was hard!! not to over bore you with details, nick made the decision to move back home once the fall semester was over. columbia wasn’t for him and me being me, I was SO excited to have him home. no more going weeks without seeing each other. 

we then both were at uwm, i was still living at home and he was down on the east side. with him being back home, that just meant more time we got to spend together. i would say that we learned a lot one another. Let’s just say – i learned to love whiskey during this time in my life lol. 

youd think that we wouldve moved in with one another because “that’s what you do once youve been dating for threeish years”. Yeah not really, long story short, nicks house started on fire, while we were in it. Yes everyone was safe but all of nicks stuff was destroyed. this meant, he moved back in with his parents, and me, well i was still living with my dad. 

well im not going to into it but i would say living at home didn’t last for long. long story short, we had gotten coffee one morning and made the decision to move together. 

it wasn’t easy but it felt right. which i think thats the biggest thing to feel. nowwwwwww fast forward to 2019 and us planning a day trip to chicago was here.

before you ask, i dont think i really had an idea what was going to happen. all i knew was that we were going to walk near the marina because nick said “he’s never done it before” so me being down for whatever.

i have to say that i thought it was a little weird that he was wearing a button down shirt because thats something he never does unless we are going some where nice or to work. so i follow suit and dressed nice myself. monkey see, monkey do? Lol

annnnnd then we get to chicago and we park in our normal spot, we start to walk to marina. let me tell you it was a lot warmer outside than i thought so this whole walk i was waiting to stop and cool down for a bit. well, we kept walking and walking and during all of this, nick kept walking behind me. now, he HATES when i walk fast but hey, i have long legs so i just naturally walk fast. but at this time, i didnt think anything of it, i just thought to myself “well im going to keep going”. little did i know, he was trying to find a spot to ask me but it was so busy he didnt see anything he liked.

mind you, we are still walking at this point, and still sweating. me being me, of course i didnt plan anything else so im trying to come up with that we should do next because as far as i knew, this walk was the only thing we had planned and the marina was ending. THEN nick suggested that we head to this little grassy area to “take a break”. as we stop, we both stood there and looked out into the water (no, it was as romantic as you think, i was balls deep in sweat and was just happy to stop walking). as we were looking out into the water, nick starts to say “when i lived down here seven years ago, i used to walk this very same path. and when i walked this path, i would think about how i knew i wanted to marry you”. yes – at this point i was like “OMG OMG OMG THIS IS HAPPENING”. nick did say some other stuff and i cant really remember BUT then we got down on one knee, pulled up his pant leg and unrolled the ring box from his sock. that poor our man had to walk all that way with a box in his sock!

of course i said yes, i mean hello…we wouldnt be here if i said no. i know this might sound weird but after i said yes, i turned around because i thought for sure that someone was going to walk by and see but nope, no one. and i love that. i know im all about the pictures and getting the moment right but there is something about knowing that only nick and i were the only two who got to experience that moment.

and yes, we did celebrate with drinks, lunch and then went home to get more drinks, dinner and more drinks lol. we like drinks.

came home to this 🙂

and thats it, seven years later and we are GETTING MARRIED…i love saying that 🙂 but off to wedding planning!

xoxo kelsey