i forgot how to blog.
i dont even know where to start, should i reintroduce myself? should i explain what ive been doing for the last however many months? i dont really know.
Ive been saying this a lot on my ig but i feel like i lost it. lost my touch, lost my love for all things social media and even marketing for that matter. i feel like one day, it all didnt matter to me as much as it did the in past and im not sure why or where that came from.
also, i am not going to sit here and say much about 2020 but DUH we all know that it sucked and that we never want to relive it. (although, i did have some positive that came out of 2020! likkkkkkkkkkkkkkke getting married & BUYING A SINGLE FAMILY HOUSE…i do want to talk more about that in another post).
i came into 2021 with no goals, nothing that i wanted to achieve. part of me thought that was odd but then the other part of me was like “well, if you dont have goals then so what?” “youll figure it out”. yeah, i figured it out 3 weeks into the new year and realized that i need to focus on something at least.
here are a couple of things i want to work towards:
this is a big one for me. i always thought i was strong, that nothing could “bring me down”. and i was 110% wrong. i spent my whole life being strong for myself because thats all i knew how to do. i would always say i knew how to manage my anxiety. that i knew what to do when shit hit the fan but all of sudden this past year, my anxiety was at its peak. i finally did what i was embarrassed to do and that was reach out and talk to a therapist. i literally hate the stigma that there is around mental health. i felt embarrassed, ashamed that i saw a therapist because my whole life, i was able to “figure it out”. seeing a therapist was one of the best things i couldve done. i wish that it was talked more about how much they can help and how great of people they are. how they give you suggestions on how to handle that it is that is bothering you. i am here to tell you, if you have the slightest want or need to see a therapist, DO IT!!!!! its something that i wish i wouldve done sooner & something i need to start doing again.
ill say it again for the people in the back RELAXING! i am so bad at this. so bad. i always feel like it need to keep going and going and going but really, that is just making me not face certain things in life. lets say, that something bad happens, i try to not think about that and by doing so, i stay busy. i am slowwwwwly learning to “leave things for later” or to even say “no” to things so i can stay home and relax or do something that i enjoy. growing up, i remember i never felt “right” or “safe” to relax. meaning, i always felt like i had to be doing something to not make my parents mad or for them to think i wasnt doing anything. so an as adult, i am learning that im finally on my terms and that i can relax when i want to.
this one. ugh okay. yes, i havent stopped working out but i have really stopped working out as much as i had done in the past. i do blame the move a little on this because who wants to workout when youre moving or painting or moving? lol. but i was to the point of working out at least 5 days a week and i was feeling good!! and then that slowly went to 4 and then MAYBE to 3. i then realized that, if my body isnt totally feeling it then way force myself? why should i force myself into doing something i dont want to do? because if i go and workout, its not going to be a good workout, its going to be shitty because im already in the mindset of not doing it. BUT i do want to workout more (mix it up more, try new things) like i had in the past. i do though – want to change the mindset of it and make more enjoyable. something that has been sticking to me is that “dont make working out something you HAVE to do, make it something you GET to do”. right now, i am re-doing heather robertsons free 12 week workout plan, on youtube. she is one of my favorite workout youtube channels.
GETTING BACK INTO BLOGGING/SOCIAL MEDIA:
i just tried to hide while typing that out. AHHHHH i feel so dumb that i literally just stopped everything that i loved doing! i know the reason why i wanted to stop and that was because i was so worried about my mental health and not feeling like myself that i stopped and tried to “figure out what was wrong with me” when in reality.. its anxiety and my migraines (i dont feel like getting into that at the moment). ANYWAYS, yes, i want to blog like i used to, try new things and meet new people. i honestly feel like im not myself on socials anymore and i hate that. i feel like i cant keep up and that since im not doing what others are doing, why would you want to check out my stuff. and guess what? none of that matters, because people are going to follow you and love you FOR YOU!!! yes FOR YOU! i am ready to be me again. i am ready to create more content and im honestly ready to make a switch on what it is that i post about.
im pretty sure i could go on and on about goals and things i want to work towards but we would be here all day and i know that no one has that time. i wanted to share these with you because i know that goals can be challenging and they can be scary. goals also dont need to be crazy wild either. they can be simple.
ive also been getting a lot of requests for my mac n cheese recipe so i think thatll be my next post… yes, i have one now but i need to revamp it!
happy new year my loves!