you never think something that happens to you when youre a kid, will happen to you again as an adult, right?
when i was little, i switched school districts going into first grade. so that meant a new house, new school and new friends. i can remember making my first friend that was just down the road from me. this was the first time in my life that i was able to just walk over to a friends, was able to have sleep overs and was able to have fun without any worry. i finally found something who loved to play as much as me. but that did not last very long. i still can remember it to this day, when meghan told me her and her family were moving. not just moving across town but across the US. i was so sad, so upset because my first real friend was moving… i remember thinking: “who am i going to play with now?”. even though i was only 6, i still can remember how i felt when she said she was moving. growing up i would walk past her house and remember all the good times. there is something about friendship that always stays with you.
and to top it off, she even sent me a few pictures of us growing up!
well, almost the same thing happen to me about a week ago. here i am 25 and it never crossed my mind that i would have one of my best friends move away, again! this time around though, its a little harder to deal with. its like i have feelings or something lol. but my friend lizzie, moved last week and i thought: “oh ill be okay, we will still talk and we can always visit each other”. well, yeah but i freakin’ miss her! and its weird to no longer have that friend that will go to barre with you, who will grab a drink with you no matter what day of the week it is or just come over for dinner and hangout. okay okay, its not like i cant do that with my other friends but you all know you have that one friend who does the little things with you.
yeah i get it, its only been a week since she moved away but remember…this isnt my first rodeo. ive been here a couple of times! within that week, i have learned a thing or two about friendship.
- tell your friends you love them. trust me, its not weird. i always tell my friends that i love them. i do it when theyre leaving orrrr just tell them randomly during a conversation. just dont be afraid to tell them you love them, okay?
- make your friends do things with you. and no just “go shopping” or “get coffee”. make them go to a new workout class, make them go to every vintage store in your city (milwaukee has so many!), make them go to breakfast and then the farmers market. i love when my friends ask me to do new or different things. therefore, you should do the same with your friends! take each other out of your comfort zones. i have never looked back and said: “yikes! that was horrible”. well okay, there was one time lizzie and i took a workout class and we just laughed the whole time because it was ridiculous…to say the least.
- make your friends dinner, yes they can make it for you too. but if you know anything about me, you know that i love cooking and i MAKE my friends come over to eat. there is nothing more relaxing that having a friend(s) over, having a drink or two while enjoying dinner together and of course, talking.
- ask them how they are doing. ask them how their day is and ask them about how life is going. this doesnt have to be complex, this also can just be a quick convo but make sure to make the time to check on your friends. i know this is something i need to do more of, but text or call your friend(s) and ask how he/she is doing. something as simple as that can brighten someones day, create joy and a sense of real friendship.
- dont take advantage of your friends. be open with them, tell them the truth and in turn…they should give you the same. both you and your friends shouldnt get upset with one another just because the other one is busy. but that also means you shouldnt only see your friends when “you have the time”. let me tell you, YOU DO HAVE THE TIME. we all have the time.
- dont be afraid to be yourself. that is the one thing i love about being an adult. your friends love and accept you for who you are. this isnt middle school anymore, where you have to pretend to like this or have to wear that to fit in. its not like that anymore and thank god! that is something i dont have time for lol. i think being myself and having my friends accept it, is one of the more rewarding things. and its even more rewarding when you friends that are just as weird/ understanding as you 🙂
now go tell your friends that you love them, no matter how far away they are. dont be afriad to reconnect with your friend from first grade that moved away! yes, meghan and i talk reconnect a few years back and now talk at least once a week 🙂
since we are friends, love you guys!